Emotional intelligence and Superman

I went and saw the latest Superman movie, Man of Steel, last night. I found it very entertaining and a new version of the old Superman story. It even sparked some emotional moments (yes, I cried during Superman!), As well as some after-thoughts and inspirations on emotional intelligence … yes, emotional intelligence.

First came father-son relationships, both between Clark Kent and his adoptive human father Jonathan (Kevin Costner) and between Kal-El (Superman) and his biological father Jor-El (Russell Crowe). There is no question of the level of love in both relationships. Both dads wanted the best for their son. The sacrifice and lessons the dads showed were full of integrity.

Great pre-Father’s day lessons, and this was part of the emotionally cathartic stimulus the movie had for me. I still miss my dad and wish I had turned to him for more of his wisdom and guidance. I wish I could even speak and interact with your “conscience”.

If you are a dad, I invite you to share everything you can with your son, even if he feels uncomfortable and even if he seems to be resisting. You never know how those seeds can germinate into some greatness that the world really needs.

If you are a son, I invite you to spend more time with your dad. Ask him the questions he has never asked you. Invite him to share his experiences and wisdom. Yes, it even feels strange and uncomfortable. He could go tomorrow.

(This works equally well and with the same strength for daughters.)

We may not have thought of our dads as highly emotionally intelligent, but if you look, you are likely to find a lot of EQ lesson snippets.

The second a-ha was the love Lois had for Superman. She understood, accepted, supported and encouraged Superman. This wasn’t old Lois Lane who just had a crush on Superman; this was a woman who “understood” her struggles.

There is no greater act of love than understanding, accepting, supporting and encouraging the other. We all need these cornerstones of love and when we get them, we shine … we become the super people that we really are.

Emotional intelligence IS relational intelligence. Period.

All of which brings up the third idea of ​​this film therapy: Even Superman needed help. As powerful and invincible as Superman was, he still needed the help of both the military and Lois.

No matter how big and wonderful, smart and talented, creative and self-reliant each of us may be, we will never truly reach our potential without a powerful support network.

One of my mentors has repeatedly reminded me, “Your net worth is based on your network.”

One of the most emotionally intelligent things you can do for yourself is ask for help and build a powerful and trustworthy support system around yourself.

The fourth and final Superman lesson that I left the theater with can be summed up in one word: Humility.

How easy it would have been for Superman to be great and arrogant due to all his superpowers and indestructible nature, but instead he almost always played the humblest role.

I have to admit that this one hit me between the eyes. How easy it is to let power, prestige and position go to your head and inflate your ego to the level of “look how great I am.”

Superman, however, played it well. Not passive, just great.

Emotional intelligence is humble but powerful. When you know how to effectively combine humility with power and gratitude, you have unstoppable strength.

So, my top four emotionally intelligent lessons and action steps from the Man of Steel:

1.) Appreciate your father’s lessons, experience, and wisdom. No matter how great or dysfunctional the relationship was, he gave you life. Now it’s your turn to make the most of this life and live your father’s legacy.

2.) Exercise the muscles of love to understand, accept, encourage and nurture. You didn’t learn any of this in your traditional upbringing, so it may look and feel strange. Do it anyway.

3.) The Beatles were right: you get by with a little help from your friends. If you don’t ask for it, you probably won’t receive it. Similarly, when you see a friend in need, offer a hand or a shoulder.

4.) Practice humility. Something else you probably didn’t learn in school. This doesn’t mean being passive or invisible, it just means that you have gifts, talents, and roles to play in this life of yours. Use your abilities and opportunities for the betterment of humanity, not to inflate your ego.

That’s all I have for now. Make it a Super Emotionally Smart Day!

And marry yourself first!

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