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Singing and eating disorders

Eating disorders are now an epidemic. Singers and others in the entertainment business with their necessary media exposure are, I think, especially vulnerable to these secret debilitating diseases.

No one can come close to their full vocal potential while chained to an eating disorder. Why? Because the voice will have problems in these areas:

  • Breathing (Power)
  • Tone (way through an open throat)
  • Communication (performance)

That’s right; with an eating disorder, everything I teach in Power, Path & Performance vocal training … everything you need for your voice to function … is compromised and riddled with problems; some very annoying to diagnose and correct.

From denial to her long-term recovery from anorexia / bulimia, I have been a friend and voice teacher with Jenni Schaefer. Jenni recovered using a unique therapeutic approach that involved treating her eating disorder as a relationship, rather than a disease or condition. Jenni actually called her anorexia / bulimia, “Ed”, an acronym for “eating disorder.” She and I co-wrote the song “Life Without Ed” which is also the title of her McGraw-Hill book endorsed by Dr. Phil and many others.

The testimonials tell us that his story is powerful, so here it is from our two points of reference:

What I noticed the first time I met Jenni was her strange numbness. He couldn’t move from the cautious posture: shoulders slumped, head hanging forward, frozen eyebrows, clenched jaw, frozen spine and hips, flabby arms and locked legs. She was like a stick figure. His voice was thin, colorless. He complained that his throat hurt when he sang. His range was limited and he had several interruptions in his voice. I tried to help her relax, but I could barely get her to lift her arms from her sides to allow her rib cage to expand. He inhaled from his upper chest in short gasps.

Jenni speaks … “With Ed, I was disconnected from my body … I felt like a floating head. I was stiff and had a hard time moving. In therapy sessions, I was encouraged to ‘just move’, whatever.”

I also had a lot of trouble helping Jenni connect with her songs. When I asked him to visualize singing “Valentines Day” to someone he loved, he couldn’t think of anyone! Finally, she began to connect by imagining that she was singing to children in a cancer ward where she had worked. Something strange … She didn’t want him to look at her when she sang.

Jenny… “I was disconnected from feelings. I lived in my head. A big purpose of my eating disorder was to starve and repress feelings — to keep me out of my emotions. So when was I supposed to connect with feelings in a song, not only was it completely alien to me, it was also terrifying. “

Jenni was easily deflated and crushed. He had to be very careful not to put too much pressure on her with the exercises. Somehow she needed to sing, but the music didn’t seem to move her. Because she did not have the energy to keep her posture upright and flexible, she was usually still and lifeless. Or he walked like a zombie.

Jenni … “I had no energy — restraining, docking and purging takes a lot of energy (physical and emotional) and leaves little for anything else.”

Jenni couldn’t understand why she didn’t feel something. She would see me express feelings that she couldn’t experience, and I think that was a big part of the reason she sought help. She asked me to pray for her. She thought that since she didn’t feel something, she couldn’t pray herself.

Jenny“Singing is spiritual. An eating disorder kills all spiritual connection. This was a huge obstacle.”

Little by little, as she received help, Jenni grew stronger. However, the voice lessons became even more difficult. She developed a diaphragmatic spasm of some kind and a kind of fatalism washed over her, making her expect the strange weirdness of uncontrolled vibrato to happen at a certain place in her range. I sent it to the Vanderbilt Voice Clinic. Only when they couldn’t find anything organically wrong did Jenni begin to believe that she could overcome this strange vocal problem. Soon after, I was able to guide her in stretching the flexible rib needed to allow the problem to go away completely.

Jenni … “Anorexia is characterized by intense perfectionism. While singing, I focused more on being perfect than on conveying a more important message.”

Jenni kept getting better, but it was two steps forward, one step back. It was hard for him to imagine singing for somebody. I was caught up in shyness. She began to experience feelings, but with the feelings came anger at being criticized, which made her feel judged. At one point, I suggested that he practice differently and he was enraged. I did not see it coming. I didn’t read the signs that said I was going too far and the lesson ended in disaster.

Jenni … “All eating disorders are characterized by constant self-criticism. It’s hard to sing when a negative voice is constantly yelling in your ear.”

The trust and friendship that Jenni and I had developed made the misunderstanding short-lived. We got back into the vocal training business and then another challenge came along. It was a long season of intense sadness. He was afraid for her; he cried, literally for days, and then fell asleep. He pushed people away, saying he had no friends. For a time, he stopped singing and canceled singing lessons.

Jenni … “Depression is often an underlying symptom of an eating disorder. When lost in despair and hopelessness, singing can seem too vulnerable because emotions can run away. So Ed often builds another wall.” protective'”.

Jenni and I started working together again, and this time each lesson seemed to break new ground. His recovery was solid, his physical and emotional health much more stable. I watched her persevere with great courage through those monumental battles of recovery. And then I heard her find her voice at last.

One of the last pieces of the puzzle was laid out by the brilliant performance coach Diane Kimbrough (615-297-1524). Diane told Jenni to stop worrying about “going there” every time she sang. She said this is too much pressure for an artist to have to re-experience the emotional scene during each performance. Instead, Diane suggests, forget about yourself and make THEM (the audience) feel something! It was a miracle.

Jenni stopped concentrating and made the connection, through the song, with someone else. Her voice is now strong, controlled, confident, and beautiful. FEEL joy, frustration, anger, and love. All of this is giving you a voice to shake the world with. Speak and sing across the country to entertain, teach, and show that recovery from an eating disorder is possible. And I love hearing her laugh!

For those struggling with an eating disorder, we hope you will read in our story that it is never too late to ask for help, begin to heal, and start singing with all of your heart.

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