Telecommuting, children at home, professional pressure: the couple of Alexandre and Laura falters
Since the end of August, Laura and Alexandre have been seeing a sex therapist every three weeks. To try to save their couple and to regain an intimacy totally lost sight of. Together for 15 years, parents of two young children, this couple in their thirties did not wait for confinement to twist. “It was already complicated between us with always the same subjects of contention which became real habits and poisoned our relationship”, begins Laura, who has been working at home since March. “We have always had trouble communicating, talking about tensions, that has distanced us”, resumes Alexandre.
With the general containment in March, the already tense situation worsens: “We spent a lot of energy with the children, between the pressure of work, the little ones to manage, to occupy, to make work”, they say and we feel that these difficult moments are still very present. Laura, who will certainly be fired soon, asserts: what she “feared the most” it is the closing of schools and being faced again with a vacuum. the lack of oxygen is obvious.
In addition to the years of chugging along, these anxiety-provoking and suffocating months where coldness sets in, Laura and Alexandre begin to move away to live each in a bubble of “survival”. Intimacy in the couple? “It’s dead !”, “I think we have to find the basics to start finding ourselves again on this level. We have taken too many bad habits”, Laura continues, “we have no more energy.” The words if they fuse are dry, the unspoken are legion, the irritations more frequent, the family works but do not sharing more while she lives under the same roof. “The Covid crisis was a trigger for us”, thought Laura’s husband, “ and it was pretty positive. We thought we needed outside helpre . “
Their luck? A common desire to make things right, because “neither wants the relationship to end”.
Little by little, thanks to the therapy, they find hope: “ Iget to see what could make it get better. And that’s already a hell of a step forward because, a few weeks ago, the problems were so ingrained that I really did not see what we could do to get out of it.ir … “ Laura says as Alexander enjoys learning how to take baby steps again and then walk again. What they like: coming out of the session with a to-do list tailored to them, “And we’re getting there! It motivates us.”
The future ? “I think we need more time together”Laura thought, which they didn’t even think about. “Despite all this climate, now my relationship has regained space in my head, and I feel better.” What they hope for is not to miss each other, to support each other, to feel freer. And both use the same words: they want to be able to find “joy”, of “happiness”… What if wanting was really being able to?