I have a lot of respect for my submissives. Yes, you heard right; My subs. I am a lifestyle and professional dominatrix, and a very good one at that.

I live in San Francisco and specialize in subservience, but I’m not really one for the “whips and chains” image so commonly attached to the word dominatrix. I do a lot of my work online and never meet the bottom in person. I also work in person, however the sub is not allowed to even touch me, sexually or otherwise. Part of the appeal is that they know they’ll never get a chance to do it.

Conveniently for me, beyond the fresh, salty air blowing out of the San Francisco Bay, there’s quite a large fetish community. He’s driving here, and he’s talking openly. However, I have discovered that the vast majority of the population, both here and in general, do not appreciate the lifestyle, because they have a very inaccurate vision of what it is, or many times they do not have any vision at all.

I am not ashamed of being a dominatrix. In fact, I’m proud of it. I openly disclose what I do on a regular basis, which naturally raises questions, and I welcome questions as an opportunity to educate the general public. One of the most common misconceptions about BDSM is that submissives are weak, can’t fend for themselves, weird or something, or that they are being taken advantage of. However, I passionately disagree with that mentality.

In fact, I think bottoms are incredibly strong, driven, and very dedicated to what they love. I admire their courage for daring to step into something rejected by society and often their gender as they reveal their deepest and most vulnerable desires to someone they are attracted to and fear rejection. People who choose to submit to another show devotion to another human being on a level that society at large is not accused of. It really is a beautiful thing.

At any time, day or night, I can call upon one of the many men and women who submit to me to satisfy my every whim. And what do I give them in return? Sometimes nothing. Other times special attention, or things that others do not get to see or know about me. They get whatever I feel like giving at the moment without any guaranteed benefit, and yet they still do it with joy and enthusiasm. Because? Everyone has their own reason, and that in itself is a whole different topic. However, for most of them, the act of making me happy is what they like. It is a very selfless role and I deeply admire it.

Do I get a lot of criticism about my chosen career as a dominatrix? Absolutely. There is a certain stigma attached to anyone who works in the sex industry, regardless of her level of physical/sexual involvement and interaction. However, the negativity I receive is not nearly as much as that submissives face if they choose to openly reveal their interest. In fact, the dominatrix has become something of an icon in American society. To women she is a hero, and to men she is feared, yet intensely desired. More often than not, revealing that I am a dominatrix does not generate disapproval or disgust, but rather great interest, intrigue and admiration.

In the end, I have to admit, I grew very attached to my most loyal subs. In fact, over time, I not only come to care for them, but ultimately depend on them for financial and emotional support. That doesn’t mean I need them to survive, however they make my life so much easier and I really enjoy my interactions with them both as a dominatrix and just as a human being. I am so appreciative of all that you do, and it brings us together in a relationship unlike any other.