For many years, my husband struggled with a bad habit of pornography.

Did it affect our marriage?

Absolutely!

Did it cause a deep hole in my heart?

Yes.

Did I blame myself for my husband’s porn habit?

Yes.

I struggled with many emotions in the midst of my husband’s porn addiction.

For one, for many years I wouldn’t admit I had a problem, so for this reason I couldn’t help him. I tried for many years, but to no avail. In fact, trying to discuss it and find a solution only sparked arguments and sometimes hurt feelings, sadly.

I wanted him to stop, change, and see me as the only woman in his life. Not the women he saw on the internet!

Through the power and grace of God, my husband finally gave up his porn habit, but prior to this, I often found myself hurt, alone, and with no one to talk to or share my pain with.

However, I learned this lesson: While I couldn’t change my husband, I did my part to work on myself until I saw the results I wanted to see in him. While this insider secret that I am about to share is not a 100% guarantee for all wives, I do know that it changed me and strengthened my marriage.

The important thing about this advice is that personal care is very important. Although this means that you may not be dealing directly with your husband to take the next step, when you take care of yourself first, you are working to protect yourself from more hurts and pains that your husband’s porn addiction could cause you.

This is not to say that you are ignorant of what you are doing. But it is to say that you can reach out to a community that can help you grow and heal until your change comes. This does not necessarily mean that you should tell everyone that your husband is addicted to pornography.

As a Christian wife, you cannot neglect this advice because it is important to be part of a community of married women who love God and fight for their marriages. I say this because Hearing other women share the stories and steps they took to achieve their marriage success will encourage you to fight for your marriage in a way that is productive for you., your husband, and ultimately your marriage.

So the next logical step here is to start with prayer and forgiveness. One of the things you need to do is take the step to forgive your husband for his addiction to pornography. And forgive yourself for not being able to fix this problem. The addiction to pornography is much bigger than you. And you can’t fight this problem on your own.

She needs a community of strong women that can help her in this process.

Also, understand that your husband’s porn addiction is not your fault. In fact, he probably had it long before you met him. But in order for you to receive your healing, the decision to forgive is mandatory.

Sometimes it is difficult to forgive yourself. I fully understand it, but there is help available.