It used to be that 20 years ago a young man became interested in an older woman, people thought he have to be “hard”. Today, there is still some residual judgment and bias where people think and whisper to each other, “Well, you know, he must be after only one thing.”

But the truth is, one of the hottest current trends in dating is Cougar Dating where younger men chase older women.

If you’re a younger man and you’re attracted to the confidence, maturity, and fun of an older woman, here are 3 smooth, suave, and sophisticated dating tips for you to attract, pursue, and date older women.

Tip #1. Be gentle: go where the fish are

Where do older women congregate? Are older women really in the same singles bars as 20-something girls? In some cases, yes, they are. In Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, and Manhattan, you’ll find sexy, successful female business executives rubbing their elbows while taking the Chardonnay, Mojito, Cosmos, Prayed Daisies along with 20-somethings fresh out of college. And while singles bars are fun, they can really turn into a madhouse.

Where else could you try? When you want to stand out and not be just one of the many single men in the crowd, hit the gym or YMCA classes that women love and attend in droves. There are always more women in group classes at the gym because studies show that women are very tribal and socializing. Take a yoga class.

Tip #2. Be nice – move around when you first meet and be discreet

Now the thing is, while it’s a new dating trend for young men to date older women, frankly, not everyone over 40 thinks that way. You may have to court her a bit over the idea. Be a man and approach her. She will respect your masculinity for this. However, be a little more covered. Be discreet in your exchange and her defenses will go down.

At the end of class, strike up warm conversations with the other women. Be soft and affable here. Just strike up a conversation. Don’t immediately push for their phone number. Just say at the end “I really enjoyed talking to you. I hope to see you next week. I will definitely be back.”

Tip #3. Be sophisticated: ask her out on your second meeting

In your second conversation, she will feel more comfortable with you. That’s when you might suggest, “Hey, I haven’t had my coffee yet and I need to get some coffee. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee around the corner before I head out?”

You show your confident sophistication knowing that she is busy. It’s also a compliment to her. “You are beautiful. You are successful. You must be busy.”

By doing that, subtly and smoothly, you’re just letting him know that it would be brief. That way, there’s no pressure for too much of anything right away. You’re just looking to get to know her a little better in a romantic way. She will feel more comfortable with you this way, which increases your chances of success in your romantic quest when dating older women.