We’re not a high conflict couple but we’re not really happy either. How would we benefit from marriage counseling? Marriage counseling has many benefits besides learning how to reduce the emotional level of arguments, although this is also a benefit.

 

Marriage counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist can help your marriage in many ways. It gives you a number of opportunities for change that you normally wouldn’t know how to achieve on your own. With marriage counseling, you will have the opportunity to identify the problems, feelings and behaviors that are bothering you and communicate them to your spouse in a safe and supportive environment.

 

One of the main benefits of marriage counseling is instruction, coaching, and feedback in developing new skills to make changes in your relationship. Skill development often focuses on the following skill areas:

1) communication and problem solving

2) appropriate expression, disclosure, and resolution of painful emotions

3) effective negotiation for change within the relationship

4) acquisition of the ability to work within an association to achieve objectives

5) development of the ability to participate in consultation and cooperation in family matters such as money management, parenting, lifestyle and life stages.

6) de-escalation of arguments before they become hurtful

7) identification and elimination of dirty fighting tactics.

8) learn and practice effective problem solving techniques

9) learn and practice effective ways to start a difficult conversation in a neutral way.

10. recover the ability to perceive the positive characteristics in your partner and in your marriage.

 

When you participate in marriage counseling, you have the opportunity to get to know your spouse again. Couples who have been together for a while tend to talk superficially or about things and topics that are not about themselves. Couples often stop talking about the things they are thinking and feeling.

 

Couples counseling can guide you through your unresolved issues, including emotional baggage from your family of origin that can be recreated and developed in your current relationship. You have the opportunity to identify how your past experiences “color” how you experience your life now, and you can learn to neutralize the negative impact of your stories. By doing so, you can envision the relationship you want, figure out how to achieve it, and start working toward your relationship goals.

 

Your couples counseling should last long enough for you to achieve the main goals of the treatment plan. If you continue in counseling long enough to establish new behaviors to the point where it becomes a habit, you are more likely to maintain your relationship gains for a longer period of time.