I am sure that if you are reading this, you are what is called a ‘lightworker’. Lightworkers are people who come to earth with a spiritual purpose: service to others, bettering the planet, healing, beautifying the planet, challenging current beliefs for the growth of humans, etc.

Lightworkers today may find relationships very confusing. This comes down to one word: votes.

Lightworkers have had many past lives in the spiritual realms as clergy, monks, nuns, priests, gurus, healers, sages, missionaries, etc. They naturally tend to put others first, sacrifice themselves in the service of others, and are often of humble means.

This relates to entrenched vows from the past including: vows of chastity, poverty, hunger (fasting), humility, isolation, and selfless service (often martyrdom).

Say the following sentences out loud: “I want a lot of money”, “I want fame”, “I dedicate myself”, “All I have to do is worry about getting what I want”, “I want to be rich, powerful, have an entourage and be a player” or things like that, do you have a strong reaction? Do you hear a voice yelling “Nooooooo!”

Did you feel judgment for coveting these ‘worldly things’? If so, then chances are you are here on a spiritual mission. In the past, these hedonistic things would have been ‘temptations’ to resist, things to tempt you off your path, things that would shake your humility and drive you further away from God.

It goes without saying that having an aversion to earthly pleasures is not entirely helpful in today’s times. It is not wrong or unspiritual to want love, security, money, joy, comfort, or even material possessions, if you are not motivated by greed. These things allow us to take care of ourselves.

The modern world is driven by competition and acquisition, and these extreme qualities can make you vulnerable to opportunists.

So it is not a surprise that many lightworkers have difficulties with relationships. They haven’t had a lot of experience with them, so it’s new territory. They may not even give themselves permission to have relationships, much less the ones where someone is giving it to them.

Modern society breeds narcissists. If you’re conditioned by society to believe that your only two options in life are to have or not to have, your goal will probably be to collect, not share, as many toys as you can. Some people are here at the service of themselves, and others are at the service of others. The two can be put together, but like oil and water, they don’t mix.

If you figure out a person’s values ​​before you get involved (listening for red flags is hard, but vital), you’ll save yourself a lot of wasted time and heartache. If you ask, “What do you feel is the purpose of your life?” and they say, “To have as much fun as possible,” or “To be rich and famous,” you know who you’re dealing with.

The traps that can make you vulnerable to predatory people are:
compulsive care
Put the needs of your partners before your own
Putting other people’s feelings before your own
Being manipulated into doing more or all of the work in the relationship.
Trying to fix or heal someone who is broken (they can sniff out “fixers” like sharks)
Being overly understanding and making excuses for your partner’s bad behavior.
Being more tolerant of mistreatment than others.
Lack of trust due to being taken advantage of
Being more comfortable giving than receiving
Difficulty being vulnerable
Difficulty asking others for help
Doing too much for other people without realizing it
Do things for others to your own detriment.
letting people wear you down
Minimize what you do for others
Difficulty with limits in personal relationships.
Having difficulty setting boundaries and saying no
Being too self-sufficient
Expect nothing from others (which is exactly what you get if you don’t assert yourself)
Do things for others that they can and should do for themselves

This is by no means a complete list. Psychiatry would say that these reflect subconscious patterns that are recreated based on your childhood experiences. I would call them past life karma based on the core issues you are trying to learn in this lifetime.

For many, their core issue is self-love, self-care, and figuring out how to have a healthy, loving relationship based on equality, not need.

If you’re in a relationship where you feel more like a parent than a partner, you’re following what I’ll call “the pattern.”

The good news is that you can change this. Regain power by realizing that you created the perfect conditions for someone to mistreat you. Being aware is the first step. It will be difficult. You will fall back into the pattern, but hopefully, and gradually, it will take less and less time for you to notice.

Learn not to make bad investments. Lightworkers tend to be fully invested in people and things which amounts to a terrible deal. Investing in something that has poor prospects for the future, produces low dividends, drains your resources and leaves you bankrupt is bad business.

Try not to take detours on the way to achieving your goals. Invest in yourself. Toxic people will do you their own collateral damage. Can you afford that? Those truly capable of loving and caring for you will appreciate you for who you are, not just for what you do for them.