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Things have a way of catching up with me

I have learned in my life, and probably only one thing: things have a way of reaching me. I can’t get away with it.

It’s not that I don’t try. There were a few times where I was pretty close to getting my way, but it didn’t turn out the way I expected.

Highlight an example. Last year, someone hacked into the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage’s bank account and bought a case of wine for around $700. It took him a few days to see this in his bank account. When he saw it, he immediately went to the bank to dispute it.

What was interesting about this purchase on his account was that it happened while he was playing the piano in church on a Sunday morning here in Florida, and it was made at the same time in Southern California. I know my wife is great, but I didn’t think she could do that. Being in two different places at the same time is magical.

Maybe he has more arrows in his quiver than I imagined.

He finally fixed it with his bank and got his money back. She was a little worried for a while and she checked her bank account every day.

Every once in a while, being the kind of person I am, I ask him after Sunday service, “Did you buy wine today?”

I found that quite amusing but, being on the opposite side of the aisle from marriage, she disagreed with that assessment.

Being a country boy, I like to take every opportunity I get. I remember telling him at the time, “I didn’t know you drank wine.”

After a while, he stopped responding and just gave me one of his infamous scowls, which only sparked more interest in the topic.

For a while, I thought I was getting away with it. Things, however, have a way of catching up, particularly with me, when I least expect it.

Several weeks ago, while checking my bank account online, I noticed a transaction of $159.32 for, of all things, cigarettes. But I don’t smoke cigars!

I did some research and found out that I bought those cigars in New Jersey at the same time I was preaching from the pulpit here in Florida. Is it possible that I have now risen to the level of the Gracious Mistress of the Parochial House?

Trust me, I was beyond upset about that sort of thing. $159.32 is a lot of money to me, and spending it on cigarettes when I don’t smoke cigarettes is a farce.

The next day I went to the bank to dispute this transaction. After some time with my banker, he was able to take care of it. That money took several days to return to my account. Believe me, I checked my account every day until finally, the transaction disappeared.

The fact that that transaction took place in New Jersey at the same time that I was preaching here in Florida was quite disturbing. I thought maybe someone did this deliberately.

That, however, was not the end.

“After all these years you haven’t told me everything about yourself,” my wife told me. “Why didn’t you tell me you smoke cigars?” Then she laughed. Je n’ai pas.

She goaded me into an intense conversation about the fact that she didn’t smoke cigars at all; so why in the world would she buy cigars? Looking at her, I could see that she was enjoying this to the fullest.

“Is there anything else,” he said quite seriously, “that you haven’t told me?”

Well, if there was, I wouldn’t remember it at my age. Then, as she stood there with her jaw dropped to the ground, she started laughing hysterically.

“Ha ha ha, I got you.”

But it wasn’t over yet.

The following Sunday, after church service, on the way home, my wife looked at me seriously and said, “Honey, did you smoke a cigarette today while you were preaching?” Then she laughed heartily and I muttered under my breath as she gritted her teeth.

I didn’t understand where he was getting at this, and then he said something else: “By the way, I didn’t buy wine today while I was playing the piano.” She again she laughed.

When she said that, I understood where all this was coming from.

At that very moment, we made a pact. I won’t ask her about buying wine if she doesn’t ask me about buying cigars on a Sunday.

It just showed me that things have a way of turning against me. I need to learn to let go of some things even though I may be tempted to use them for my entertainment.

I am sure that in the future, somewhere, sometime, there will be an opportunity for me to enjoy this entertainment. I have to keep in mind, what I think I have, my wife has too.

I remembered what the apostle Paul said. “Do not deceive yourselves; God is not mocked; For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7).

I thought about that for a while. Whatever you do, it has repercussions. The way you treat a person is how, in the future, somewhere, you will also be treated.

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