Here’s something that just proves you can’t take Greek literally. A water bill came with an official letter from the water board. I got the gist of it vaguely, but I thought it would be fun to write it, word for word, exactly as it was written. Now I’m not taking the… water here, I love the Greek language and the letter was written quite correctly. What I wanted to do was do an exercise on how one language literally translates to another if you use a dictionary, instead of just reading it and absorbing what the writing says.

Note that in Greek, as in many languages ​​I suppose, some words have many different meanings and have to be used in context. When a word had more than one meaning, he chose the most appropriate, or rather the least inappropriate. I’ve also put the words in their literal order instead of moving them to where they would be if we were translating into English. This is so you can see how sentence construction is different between the two languages.

This is how my dictionary and I translate the text:

“After the plumber’s suggestion and our survey, it was confirmed that your water meter was found in such a place where it impossible to settle the meter reader towards yours absent. We kindly ask you to place your water meter in such a spot (outside from your house) so that it can pass with all the reading of the mark and towards your absence. Consequently, it will avoid… [no idea – word not in my dictionary] to bills one and the meter reader to pass regularly and will not accumulate ‘need’. For more information ask the local plumber or call 22460…”

I have it? Basically, we were all asked to move our water meters from inside the courtyard to the street so that readings could be taken regularly. Ours was moved a few weeks before we received the letter, so we’re in good books and our bill is up to date at last.

Here’s the full story:

The meter was originally inside our downstairs foyer and we were never around when the man came to read it. So we wired our front door so it could be opened without a key and anyone could come in whenever they wanted or needed. Do you remember that lifestyle from England around 1949? However, this simple arrangement seemed to fool the waterman and he never figured out how to get inside. It still confuses the electric meter reader, as our bills seem to be calculated by thinking of a number between one and ten, multiplying it by Pi, dividing it by the age of someone’s mother-in-law, adding 6% tax for fun, subtracting 6%. without explainable reason and adding a zero.

Let’s go back to the water bill. A few invoices ago it was clear that the meter had not been read – €8.00 for three months in summer? I do not think. So when I went to pay for it, I told the nice guy at City Hall what the current reading was. He accepted the idea that someone wanted to be honest about his water usage, but when I asked him to adjust the next bill up accordingly, he was a little flabbergasted. He asked another helpful official for help. She, having paled a little at my request to be charged correctly, took note of the reading. We all agreed that the next bill would more accurately reflect the correct price.

The next bill came in due time and was again estimated at €8.00, so I did the same thing again, going back to the Town Hall. This time there was a different and helpful young lady on duty and she asked if she wanted me to calculate the actual cost at that time. She could afford it all now…but only if she really wanted to. ‘You do not have to do it. I wouldn’t. Nobody ever does. It was my turn to be stunned and in shock I decided to pay next time when the bill indicated the correct amount.

It came out estimated at €8.00.

Finally, thanks to the meter being moved outside, we are the proud owners of an updated bill that literally breaks down as:

Water value 69 mx3, €49.20 – Makes sense to me

Final value of the thing done €39.36 – Assuming the movement of the subway (20% in charge of the City Council)

Value of the final fixed €2.99 – It supposes some fixing of a football match

Fee (6%) €2.95 – We suppose to return part of the €9.80 that the City Council paid to move our meter

Tax (13%) €5.51 – This is the bit that is added for fun

Round (something) of the €0.24 bill – I have no idea where those 24 cents went

Difference processed €0.23 – Nor what does this bit mean

But what I’m sure of is that our bill was rounded down by 48 cents, so it came to about €100, including changing the meter. Which makes our annual water bill (and you’d be surprised how many people ask what our annual water bill is), around €120, or in old money, just under £7 a month for two people in a house. two-bedroom with garden, washing machine, bathroom, shower, etc. (This was written a couple of years ago.)

I’ll stop rubbing it now and go happily water the garden.

Actually I won’t, since we are saving water and not because of the cost. There has been little rain this winter and the reservoirs are already low. So remember, when you come to Symi, stand on a big bowl when you shower; use that water for bathing or mopping outside with it; put the washing water in the garden; if you need to download, only download when you really need to download; turn off the tap when you brush your teeth or shave; as the shower heats up, run the water into a bucket for later use; put the drain pipe from the washing machine in a (large) bucket and use it in the garden, floors, etc.; do big laundry loads instead of many small ones; save rainwater where and when you can, and be sure to turn off the taps properly. Oh, and in the winter, only shave and shower once a month and only if you need to.

Actually, you should do all of that wherever you live to help the planet as a whole. Ok, I’m really going now. I just got a letter from the power company starting; “Looking at your wire from your doors…”