Nadège used to shout from the rooftops that she had nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, this commercial celebration. Believing at least to make him happy, his companion did not think of taking the initiative: no restaurant, no flowers, no gifts. Except that in fact, Nadège wanted to be surprised. She hoped Alain would go against her injunction, which would have been her surprise. “It is not that rare in a couple. One wants to test the other by doing everything so that he has to guess what is behind the first injunction. This is the best way to be disappointed. In fact, simplicity in communication is good!“, underlines Caroline Kruse, couples therapist who has just published The Guide to loving savoir-vivre (Ed. Du Rocher). The result turned out to be frustration and tension. However, whatever the gift or the attention as long as it finally exists, as awkward as it is …

Still, the feast of love can be a perilous passage: the bouquet of flowers on the 14th can seem to be telephoned, especially if it is the only one of the year! The naughty date taken in advance may also not provoke any excitement, “and suddenly, this brings us back to a certain emotional or even sexual laziness that has gradually settled in the couple”, analyzes the sex therapist Marie Tapernoux. The level turns red: is my relationship in danger? The clinician agrees: “For some, it can show that there is a lack of attention in the couple. Valentine’s Day will become a day to which we put our faith in, which in a way will repair the little filled daily life, where affection is little shown.. “

Where a box of chocolates in the shape of a heart will provoke happiness, tenderness and rapprochement; the same under another roof will cause some embarrassment and even sadness. But nothing is played, let us be reassured: “For the moment, the priority is to find communication again because there has been an accumulation of frustrations and difficulties.. “